


What You Did to My Heart

by kiwigirl



Series: Speak Now (the Words on My Skin) [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Awesome Darcy Lewis, BAMF Darcy, BAMF Darcy Lewis, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Captain America: The Winter Soldier Spoilers, F/M, Hydra (Marvel), Pre-HYDRA Reveal, Songfic, Soulmate-Identifying Marks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-03
Updated: 2016-03-24
Packaged: 2018-05-04 16:02:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 13,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5340038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiwigirl/pseuds/kiwigirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Darcy never meant to become a spy, but suddenly she's part of HYDRA and meeting her soulmate. She blames Nat.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. At the Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> This is a continuation of chapters 6 and 7 of The Beat of Our Hearts. Both of those have been reposted below for easy reading. Thank you to everyone who asked me to continue this!

Darcy Lewis certainly didn't set out to be a spy. It just kinda happened. It started with self-defence lessons from Nat, and lock picking with Clint. They give her tips on improving her hacking, how to dress to blend in or to stand out. Without her realising it, they've put her through the entire SHIELD espionage training, only without actually being part of SHIELD.

This makes her the perfect person when Nat starts to suspect something hinky within SHIELD. A few modifications to her résumé, and she's SHIELD's newest administrative assistant, fresh from finishing her master's degree at Culver. Her thesis posited a new world order, one where power is given to the elite for the good of all. It's not long before she's quietly tapped on the shoulder to put her ideas into practice.

With her new patronage, she rises up the ranks quickly, somehow ending up the handler for the STRIKE team. She relays orders and takes copious notes, has a finger in every pie. She acquires a reputation for being both fearsomely efficient and intolerant of mess.

Brock Rumlow flirts with her constantly. She has the feeling he's testing her devotion to the cause, but she trained with Natasha Romanoff and can return in kind. She's the one who passed on the information about a mole on the Lemurian Star, somehow coordinates both sides of the hijacking. It gets harder and harder to keep both sides straight, and separate, but to fail would be deadly.

When the asset is taken out of storage, she's secondary handler on the operation. She doesn't realise the target until it's too late to do anything but activate the Firebreak Protocol, leaving Fury seemingly dead and Captain America a fugitive. For her excellent service, she is promoted to personal assistant of Secretary Pierce himself. At his side, she learns the truth of Project Insight.

She desperately tries to contact Steve, but he and Nat have gone off the grid so effectively even she can't find them. The next time she sees them, they're being pursued by the STRIKE team, and only through some fast talking does she convince Pierce that executing Captain America in broad daylight would be a very bad idea.

* * *

She accompanies Pierce to that hideous parody of a debriefing and is appalled to learn "the asset is a person!?"

Pierce smiles condescendingly. "Hardly. He is a tool, nothing more."

She scrambles for words, somehow manages to sound disinterested, but  _of course_  she recognises him. "That hardly seems efficient."

Pierce shrugs. "It was a different time, and he served his purpose well enough. Once Project Insight goes into action, I expect we will have him decommissioned."

She injects outrage into her voice. It's not difficult. "At least clean his wounds! He's bleeding everywhere. And give him a haircut, it's so, so messy!"

He laughs. "Order in all things, Miss Lewis? Very well, if you are so inclined, you can do it yourself, once they've recalibrated the conditioning. The workers here have their own duties."

She is careful not to speak to him, not to treat him as a person, until her superiors have gone and the technicians are busy elsewhere.

"I'm so sorry about this. This is all I can do."

He looks up at her, really focuses. "You're not like the others, are you?"

The resulting pause in the clicking of the scissors makes the nearest agent look over in suspicion. Acting casually, she continues to snip away until he loses interest. Under the pretence of checking the length, she murmurs, "next time they let you out, meet me in front of the Lincoln Memorial."

* * *

The day of the helicarrier launch, Pierce has her accompany him to the meeting of the World Security Council, and is surprised when his attempt to murder them doesn't go off. He shakes his head at her betrayal. "Such a pity, Miss Lewis. There would've been such need of your services in the new world order. But even you cannot disable Project Insight from here. Watch us rise!"

He certainly didn't count on the efforts of Steve and Sam, who are curiously unimpeded as they switch the controller chips aboard the helicarriers.

* * *

She finds him waiting for her in front of the Lincoln Memorial, just one more in a crowd of horrified onlookers. Together, they watch as the helicarriers crash and burn, turning the Triskelion into rubble and his life from the last 70 years into so much smoke on the wind.

"Is this the end?"  he asks, gripping her hand tightly.

"No, Bucky. This is the beginning."


	2. The Way Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy and Bucky go into hiding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is based on The Way Out by Jack Walton

They stand watching the fall of SHIELD until the police come to break up the crowd.

“Where do we go?” asks Bucky.

Darcy shrugs. She’s just realised that with Nat’s infodump, her status as a Hydra agent may have hit the internet. “We could go to Avengers Tower?” she volunteers. “I’m sure Steve would love to see you.”

Bucky looks confused. With a jolt, she remembers the chair.

“The man on the bridge?” she prompts.

His expression clears somewhat, but he shakes his head. “No. I don’t want him to see me like this. He knows me, but I don’t know me.”

“Somewhere else then,” Darcy agrees.

They steal a few metro cards from the crowd around them and use them to hit up ATMs around the city. Hydra had a lot of bank accounts, but by the time Darcy’s done, they have a lot less. It seems having one person doing the filing has backfired rather spectacularly.

With their newfound riches, they buy a secondhand car and start to drive. Well, Bucky drives. Darcy pulls out her minicomputer and contacts Nat via the messaging system of a mostly-defunct forum. They have a few of these accounts for emergencies just like this.

 **Taserchick1990** : Heyyy hw r u?

Nat must be worried, because her answer pops up almost immediately.

 **DeadlyRedhead** : I’m well, how are you? What are you doing these days?

 **Taserchick1990** : I met my soulmate!!!

 **DeadlyRedhead** : That’s great! Do I know him? You should bring him around.

 **Taserchick1990** : He’s not 2 keen on meeting th fam w all the drama atm.

 **DeadlyRedhead** : Can you speak English? How long will you be away? I’d love to meet him. I’m in town for the next month or so.

 **Taserchick1990** : Dont b a drag. We r headed out of twn to get 2 kno each otha a bit. Well hav 2 catch up n th nxt yr

 **DeadlyRedhead** : You can’t just hole up for a year! In the next two months, at the latest.

 **Taserchick1990** : 10 months

 **DeadlyRedhead** : Nope. We’ll have to come for a visit before then.

 **Taserchick1990** : 8 thn, dnt come

 **DeadlyRedhead** : As long as you keep in touch once a month, then okay.

 **Taserchick1990** : Fine. Luv ya xoxoxox

She signs off and sets about making them new identities. She already has a few, none of them SHIELD- or HYDRA- issued and therefore safe, but she didn’t count on Bucky. Luckily, she’s a pro.

They find a secluded cabin in the Poconos that the owner is willing to rent out for cash. She’s Delia Roberts and he’s her husband John, fresh out of the army and in need of a quiet place to settle down for a bit. The neighbours are friendly, but quite a ways away, and promise to call ahead before visiting when they learn John is a veteran.

The cabin comes fully furnished, which means they only have to buy groceries. Darcy goes into the store alone; even the few people there set Bucky’s teeth on edge. He indulges his protective impulse by waiting in the car outside and eyeballing anyone entering or exiting.

* * *

**MyEyesAreUpHere** : Hey!  Just letting you know things are great over here, but totally not what I expected. How is everyone?

 **NotMyDivision** : Good to hear from you. In actual English, too! I’m good, have moved back home. Birdbrain’s sad he missed you but can’t wait to meet your new man. Your girl has moved in with her boyfriend’s family, so I haven’t heard from her for a while. Dad’s been cleaning, he and Mom were horrified to find rats in the house, but they managed to get rid of all of them. Uncle Grumpy is still doing his thing in the attic. Granddad’s got a new BFFL and spends all his time trying to track down his old BFFL to mend fences, but he’s not having much luck. Are you coming home soon?

 **MyEyesAreUpHere** : Not yet.

Darcy shuts her laptop with a sigh of relief. Nat and Clint are ok, Jane’s with Thor on Asgard, Tony and Pepper found and removed HYDRA agents from SI, Bruce is happily science-ing, and Steve and the guy with the wings are looking for Bucky.

She sighs and looks over at Bucky. He’s still resistant to the idea of meeting Steve and she doesn't want to push. Instead, he’s been teaching her how to survive in the wild and she’s been teaching him about the 21st Century. It’s not as difficult as she expected: he lived through bits and pieces of the 20th Century and every now and then some memories shake loose.

* * *

**Phoenixandash** : Hi how are you?

 **Rainbow-unicorn-girl** : Heyyy its gud to hear from u, we r gr8! How r u? Wuu2?

 **Phoenixandash** : Wuu2? Is that even English?

 **Rainbow-unicorn-girl** : What are you up to. Gosh.

 **Phoenixandash** : oh. My mistake. Same old, same old. Everyone’s doing their own thing. Everyone misses you though.

 **Rainbow-unicorn-girl** : Yea k cool we myt drop by in th nxt few mnths g2g

She bought Bucky a tablet and he’s been experimenting with touch screens. His pop culture knowledge is growing; she considered a Netflix account, but that requires a credit card, so instead she’s introduced him to TV Tropes and streams movies through 6 proxy servers.

* * *

**L33t-h4xr-grrl** : Yo just checking in on the fambam, how’s it going?

 **53cr3t-k33p3r** : Grandpa keeps on wandering off. I’m worried he won’t be able to find his way home someday. Maybe you could talk to him: he always had time for you.

 **L33t-h4xr-grrl** : I’m pretty busy at the moment. Tell him all good things come to him who waits not him who goes looking, maybe that’ll keep him at home. See you later.

 **53cr3t-k33p3r** : Do you know something you’re not sharing? _(message unread)_

Darcy feels vaguely guilty about Steve’s fruitless search for Bucky, but she hasn’t had the courage to bring him up in conversation again.  She knows talking about Steve hurts him.

They’ve been sleeping in separate beds. He’s always careful when they’re awake, but he doesn’t trust himself when he’s asleep. The Winter Soldier never really slept and he’s still uncomfortable at the idea at being so vulnerable, so he spends hours staring at the ceiling waiting for sleep to overtake him as his soulmate slumbers three metres and a world away.

* * *

**InTheDark** : It’s been over a month

 **InTheDark** : Are you there?

 **InTheDark** : Shall we drop by?

 **KillerCurvesAhead** : We’re alive. Stop panicking. Life’s just been busy.

Bucky’s been remembering. She can tell. He spends long moments looking out at nothing, never even hearing her until she’s right beside him. Worse, he won’t talk to her about it, shrugging off her concerns. He falls into dark moods where nothing he does is good enough, and has broken three phones for loading too slowly. She knows he’d never hurt her physically, but every episode breaks her heart a little more.

* * *

**xx-lightning-sistah-xx** : Do you know anything about treating PTSD?

 **~bloodmoonnight~** : What caused it?

 **xx-lightning-sistah-xx** : Brainwashing and mind control

 **~bloodmoonnight~** : WHAT

 **~bloodmoonnight~** : Are you serious?

 **~bloodmoonnight~** : Of course you are. Is it your soulmate? Was he part of that mess with the guy in green and gold?

 **xx-lightning-sistah-xx** : Yes him. No something else. But similar I guess.

 **~bloodmoonnight~** : I’m not an expert, but there are people here who are. Come home?

 **xx-lightning-sistah-xx** : <offline>

One night, Darcy wakes to find Bucky trapped in a nightmare, muscles tensed, teeth gritted, and breaths short and ragged. He doesn’t respond when she calls his name, so she reaches out to touch his shoulder. Faster than she thought possible, he has her by the throat and she’s finding it difficult to breathe. His gaze goes from savage to confused to aghast, and he drops her so suddenly she stumbles backwards. Without saying a word, he bolts from the cabin.

She waits the long hours until dawn for him return in vain, but they’ve been here for months and she knows these woods. She gathers some supplies, a coat, and some sensible shoes, and follows him. Decades of practice has left him near untraceable on any terrain but this time he’s made no effort to hide his trail. She finds him less than an hour from the cabin, seated on a fallen tree, head in his hands.

Darcy makes sure to step on branches as she approaches but although he drops his hands, his gaze resolutely stays fixed downwards.  She perches on a nearby stump, takes a breath to talk, and is interrupted by a flood of words from her normally taciturn soulmate.

 “I hate this. I hate what they did to me. I hate what they made me do, who they made me. I hate that I can’t even escape their evil here,” he takes a breath. “I don’t deserve you. I won’t blame you for taking the easy way out.”

She stills. “Do you want me to go?”

He looks up, startled. “No! But why would you want to stay?” His voice is strangled. “Darcy, I nearly _killed_ you today. We can’t even sleep in the same bed because it’s not safe for you. We've been out here for months and it’s getting worse, not better. Is this really what you want?”

For a long moment, she’s quiet. She knows if she leaves now, he won’t follow her, won’t stop her. She could return to civilisation, to the hustle and bustle of city life where the nearest café is downstairs and a shoe store is just next door. She knows it would be so simple to go back to New York, to the city she loved and the friends she made. She’s tracked down and deleted all the evidence of her involvement in HYDRA that she could find. She could return to SI, keep the Scientists Three fed and rested. She knows Nat would ask no questions, keep her secrets. Noone would ever have to know.

She knows it would break both their hearts if she did so.

Her next words are whisper-thin. “I can’t do this-”

His shoulders slump in defeat.

“-alone,” she finishes. “You need more than just me.”

He looks up again, hope and pain in his eyes. “What do you mean?”

“I think it’s time we go the Avengers.”


	3. Homecoming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The return to Avengers Tower

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter based on the song Homecoming by Hey Monday, from the album Hold On Tight. Yes, I'm still basing my work on songs, this is how I write

Bucky drives them to New York. It seems to calm him, having something to focus on, something to do. Darcy spends the drive fretting. They don’t know how comfortable Bucky will be in a crowd, how they will be received at the Tower, if Darcy’s managed to wipe all evidence of her involvement in HYDRA. Just to be safe, she wears her hair down and hides behind bangs and bright lipstick. Miss Lewis kept her hair out of the way in a severe bun, eschewed makeup, and preferred wire-rimmed spectacles over contact lenses. By the time she’s done, she reckons not even the STRIKE team would recognise her.

Her access code still lets them into the parking garage underneath Avengers Tower and she has Bucky double-park in front of some of Tony’s showier sports cars.

The lifts here don’t go up the main tower for security reasons. Instead, they are deposited in the lobby, where Nat is waiting for them.  Her smile is welcoming but her eyes are wary, and they go wide in shock when she gets a good look at the man by Darcy’s side. She ushers them into a lift, away from curious ears, and once the doors close, “is this who I think it is?”

 “Yes?” Darcy cringes, fearing Nat’s wrath.

Instead, Nat laughs, a short bark that makes Bucky flinch. “Steve’s been all over Europe, and he’s been with you in Pennsylvania this whole time? I can’t wait to see his face when he gets back!”

Darcy is indignant. “How did you know we were in Pennsylvania?”

Nat shrugs in reply. “One of your accounts wasn’t routed through enough proxies.” She gives Darcy an approving smile. “The others were untraceable though.”

“She’s good with computers,” Bucky adds.

Nat nods. “There are advantages to growing up with technology. But why did you have to type as if you had forgotten how to spell?”

“Just staying in character. That’s how people type. Or used to type, back when those forums were booming.”

As she finishes speaking, the lift opens up onto the common floor and Nat leads them to the sitting area. “We are having rooms prepared for you, but you didn’t give us much notice.”

Darcy doesn’t reply; she’s too busy watching Bucky as he takes the room in. Their cabin was small, just a living area, bedroom, and bathroom. The common area spans the entire floor and is mainly open plan. The kitchen area nearest the lift is huge, stainless steel and glass, and beyond lies beanbag lagoon and the giant fireplace. On their other side are the sofas, some plush and squishy, others less likely to swallow the unwary alive. Directly in front, the well-stocked bar that opens onto the widest part of the balcony that encircles the entire floor, and behind them they would find the bathrooms and Tony’s personal movie theatre. She always appreciated it, but now it all seems rather unnecessary.

Clint is draped over some beanbags; at their entrance, he bounces upright and greets Darcy with a hug and a “who’s this?” Darcy leaves Nat to explain as she tugs Bucky to one of the firmer sofas.

“Are you ok?” she asks as they take a seat.

“I don’t know,” he replies honestly. “It’s not the days I’m worried about.”

She raises a dubious eyebrow. “You been really moody lately. And you totally blanked out on me back at the cabin. The whole staring into space thing? Not cool. I can’t believe I let you drive!”

He grins, a look that has been far too infrequent recently. “And you think I would’ve let you drive? You think the speed limit is just a suggestion! I’d rather not get pulled over by the cops, thank you.” He sobers quickly. “You noticed the flashbacks, then?”

“Duh. You gonna talk about them?”

“I don’t want to burden you with my past. I’ve killed so many people, done so much. It’s not pretty.”

“That’s why we’re here. They have these people called psychologists now; you can talk to one of them.”

He relaxes, realises she’s not going to fight him on this. “I love you, you know.”

“Yeah, I know. Love you too, even if you do drive like a nana.”


	4. See You Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The return to the Tower of everyone else

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is based on the song See You Again by Wiz Khalifa featuring Charlie Puth from the movie Furious 7

They’ve been there a week when JARVIS advises them that Steve is on his way back. Apparently Nat didn’t think it necessary to update him, although she protests that to contact them would’ve risked their cover. Given him and Sam have been going in, blowing up HYDRA bases, and then getting out, Darcy’s not sure they have any cover to risk.

Bucky’s met with a Dr Garner, and liked him enough to agree to meet further. He’s also bonded with Clint over shared trauma and sniping techniques. Meanwhile, Darcy’s bored. Jane’s still on Asgard, and Tony and Bruce are handily managed by a combination of Pepper and JARVIS. This is exactly why Darcy agreed to go undercover in the first place. She wonders if Bucky would be ok if she went undercover again. Apparently the last moles new SHIELD had in HYDRA were burned a few months ago.

Bucky’s starting to have second thoughts about seeing Steve again; Darcy can see he’s about ready to bolt. She puts her magazine aside (she wasn’t really reading it anyway) and goes to sit on his lap. His arms automatically go around her, but he stays staring at the lift.

Gently, she guides his face around until he is looking down at her. “He’ll be happy to see you. He’s been looking for you for months!”

“Yeah, but-“

She silences his protest by pulling his face down to hers, entangling her fingers in the hair he’s decided to keep long. The kiss starts sweet, but begins building in urgency when the lift _dings_.

They break apart, but only slightly. With their foreheads still touching and her fingers still in his hair, she whispers “you can do this.”

“Oh, sorry!” comes an unfamiliar voice, and Darcy worries they stopped making out for a stranger, but a more familiar voices goes “Miss Lewis!?” as she knows it’s time to face the music.

“Captain Rogers”

“Hey, punk”

Steve’s jaw drops. The man beside him (Sam, she remembers) sucks in a sharp breath. “No way. Are you seeing this? Of course you’re seeing this. Who are you?”

She slides off Bucky’s lap, offers Sam a smile. “Darcy Lewis. You must be Sam.”

He smiles back, but can’t stop staring at Bucky. Steve’s gotten his mouth closed and is stuttering questions. “Wha- how- when-?” Darcy can’t help but giggle at his confusion and he seems to remember her presence with suspicion. “Weren’t you HYDRA?” he bursts out.

She shrugs. “Yeah. But only cause Nat asked me to be.”

Curiosity momentarily assuaged, he swings his focus back to Bucky, who has gotten to his feet.

“What are you _doing_ here? We’ve been looking everywhere for you!”

“Me and my girl holed up for a bit up north. Came back ‘cause I needed help. I’m still not right, Stevie. Bastards screwed with my head well and good.”

Darcy watched the emotions play out across Steve’s face. Disbelief to anger to hurt to relief. With a choked cry, he flings his arms around Bucky, who returns the hug with equal fervour. Darcy begins to edge away, giving them space. Sam joins her.

“So, uh, how did you two meet?”

Her retelling of the entire saga is interrupted by Tony. He and Pepper have been out of town and it seems like today is the day for everyone to get back.

“What is he doing here?” Tony yells, an accusing finger aimed at Bucky.

Steve opens his mouth to explain, but the finger swings to him. “I told you I didn’t want him in my tower, Rogers. He killed my parents. ”

Vaguely, Darcy remembers the names Howard and Maria Stark from the asset’s file of completed missions, back before she knew ‘it’ was a person.

Tony continues, “He’s dangerous! He’s killed hundreds, if not thousands, and I don’t want him in my Tower.”

With every word, she can see Bucky retreating back into himself, his joy at seeing Steve evaporating fast. She looks around for a weapon and spies the magazine she discarded earlier. Rolling it up, she cuts off Tony’s rant with a _thwack_ to the back of his head.

“Like you can talk, mister,” she snaps as he swivels to face her. “Your billions were made by supplying both sides of every war since the Berlin Wall came down! How many deaths have you caused, huh? Thousands? _Millions_?” She knows this is a sore spot for him, knows at this moment he might hate her a little, but this is _Bucky_ she’s defending, and for that, she feels no guilt at all.

“That’s different,” he protests, but she knows she’s won.

“Yeah, how so? Oh yeah, you weren’t tortured and brainwashed into it.”

“You know Buck wouldn’t have done those things willingly,” Steve adds.

Realising he’s outnumbered, Tony folds. “Fine. He can stay.”

Steve might be satisfied, but Darcy is not. “Apologise to him.”

“What?”

She prods him with her magazine. “You heard me. Apologise for your nasty comments.”

“Or what? You’ll never make me brownies again? Because I’ve survived well enough this last year.”

She stares him down, and he sighs. “Okay, okay, I’m sorry. While my previous statements may have been technically true, they were unwise and unnecessary and I shouldn’t have said them. Happy?” he directs the last to Darcy, who nods. “Now can someone explain what he’s doing here and where you’ve been for the last year?”

“Well, it happened like this…” Darcy begins.


	5. Stand By You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy gets antsy; she and Bucky have a Conversation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the mini-hiatus! If anyone asks, it's to mirror the slight timejump in-story.
> 
> This chapter is based on the song Stand By You by Rachel Platten  
>  _even if we can't find heaven, I'll walk through hell with you_

Some weeks after the stand-off in the common area, Nat corners Darcy in the kitchen. "What's wrong?"

Darcy doesn't jump. She might not've heard Nat coming, but no-one ever does, and she's learnt to control her reactions. "What do you mean?"

"Whatever is bothering you is freaking Barnes out, which is worrying Steve, which is unsettling Sam, which Clint thinks is hilarious, which annoys me. Darcy, what's wrong?"

Darcy stares down at her hands. "What do I do now?"

Nat doesn't pretend not to understand. "What do you want to do?"

"I want to do something!" Darcy cries, surprising herself with her vehemence. "I want to be needed."

"James needs you," Nat reminds her.

"Not like back there. He has a support network here, and I'm happy for him, but where does that leave me? I can't just go back to being a lab assistant. Besides, Jane's still in Asgard."

"Have you talked to him about this?"

"No," Darcy admits. "I didn't want to worry him. Obviously that hasn't worked out as well as I thought."

Nat doesn't say anything. She doesn't need to.

Darcy sighs. "Fine."

* * *

Bucky is down on the training floor. Physical action seems to settle him, anchor him to the here and now. Darcy’s been down here a lot recently too, working out her frustrations on the punching bags and training bots.

When she steps out of the lift, he’s just grabbing a drink from one of Tony’s well-stocked vending machines. He catches sight of her, hovering nervously by the door, and stills.

She makes her way over to him, ignoring the curious looks from Steve and Sam. “Can we talk?” she asks, quietly.

He nods, follows her as she leads him into Nat’s soundproofed dance studio. Technically, it’s for the whole team, but Nat banned most of the men from it when they dented the floor and cracked one of the full-length mirrors during some practice fight.

Darcy feels her spine straighten as it always does in this room, and covertly watches via the mirror as Bucky turns to close the door behind them. He has always been well-muscled, even when in HYDRA, but his face is no longer so gaunt, his stance somehow easier.

“You can stop staring at my ass now,” he says, still facing the door.

“But it’s such a nice ass,” she pouts, the quip coming easily to her lips.

She can see amusement flit across his reflection, but by the time he is facing her, the smile is gone. In its place, his expression is carefully blank. “What did you want to talk about?”

“I want to go back into the field,” she blurts, desperate for this conversation to be done with.

Bucky sucks in a breath. “You want to leave? Is it something I did?”

She shakes her head, horrified. “No, no. I just- I want to be doing something useful. I’ve been talking to Skye: SHIELD needs eyes and ears within HYDRA-“

Bucky flinches. “Does it have to be there?”

“They really need someone and I’m pretty sure my cover is intact, or will be, once I work out what I’ve been doing since the fall...” she tails off.

 “I’ll go with you,” he states, but she’s already shaking her head.

“I can’t ask you to do that, Bucky. You’re still recovering.”

“You’re not asking, I’m volunteering. They’ll jump at the chance to get me back; it’ll make your entry easier.”

“It’s not worth it,” she insists. “You weren’t a person there, you were a thing! And what if they wipe your mind again, huh? What then?”

“I would never forget you,” he promises, but doubt is creeping across his features. “I can’t stop you, can I?”

“Well, you’re the super soldier with the bionic arm, I’m just a secretary,” she jokes, but it falls flat and they both know it.

Wordlessly, he opens his arms, an invitation to hug she can’t help but accept.

“Promise you’ll be safe,” he murmurs into her hair.

“No promises. But I’ll keep you and Nat and Clint on speed dial.”

“Whatever you need, Doll, I’ll be there.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Got a big test tomorrow, wish me luck! If all goes well, I'll post another chapter tomorrow.


	6. Stronger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy heads back undercover with the help of an old acquaintance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I PASSED! As promised, a new chapter. This one's based on Stronger by Britney Spears, from the album Oops!... I Did It Again  
>  _stronger than yesterday, now it's nothing but my way_

Re-infiltrating HYDRA is almost easier the second time round. She knows exactly how deep they’ll dig and sets her cover up three layers deeper. After weighing the pros and cons of new persona versus established one, it is agreed that Miss Lewis will rise again as she was, with some minor differences as to how she’s spent the last year. Darcy’s proven right once she’s hacked into prison records and found a contact back into HYDRA. Just in time too, because he’s almost healed up by now.

* * *

All things considered, Brock Rumlow didn’t mind prison. It was well ordered, they encouraged his time in the gym for rehabilitation, and he was left alone by the other whiners in here. Really, the only problem was that the rest of the world wasn’t the same way. Oh, and he wasn’t in charge of it.

He was officially meant to be in high security isolation, but the extent of his injuries and exemplary behaviour have earned him some leeway with the guards. Fools. He was the leader of STRIKE, fought alongside Captain America. It pricks at his pride that they consider him so easily tamed.

His days are spent rebuilding lost muscle, his nights planning his escape. He’s made friends with some of the orderlies, has convinced them that he was just following orders, and they feed him information. The next time the prison doctors come around, he will likely be pronounced fit for transportation.

Two weeks before that, though, he is visited by some Washington shmuck trying to gain favour with his voters by “revitalising the prison system”. Rumlow’s more interested in his secretary, a familiar brunette who looks down her nose through wire-rimmed spectacles and leaves him a business card.

“But you won’t get the congressman himself,” she warns. “He’s very busy, so I screen all his calls.”

A nearby guard laughs. “Lady, you’re wasting your time with this one. He’s not getting out until they carry him out feet first.”

Miss Lewis pins the guard with a beady glare. “Just because he is currently disenfranchised, does not mean Mr. Rumlow should have no say in the systems and institutions around him.”

The guard gulps, nods. Rumlow can sympathise: he’s been on the receiving end of that glare a few times now. By the time the guard recovers enough to confiscate the card, he’s already memorised all the pertinent information. As he is led away, the shmuck’s voice floats back along the corridor. “Such a polite man. I cannot see why Stark is pushing so hard for him to be in maximum security.” Miss Lewis’s reply is inaudible, but it makes her companion laugh.

Rumlow grinds his teeth. Stark, huh? Probably parroting the good Captain. Luckily for him, they’re too late. The wheels of so-called justice move slowly. HYDRA is much more... efficient.

* * *

Despite Tony’s continued lobbying, Rumlow escapes less than a month after Darcy reports making contact. Somehow hijacked the vehicle that was meant to be moving him. They have to hack prison records again to find this out, as certain figures are keeping the escape very quiet- probably the very ones who called Tony “fear-mongering” and “overreacting”.

Three days after Darcy learns of Rumlow’s escape, she wakes up in the middle of the night in her rented flat to a gun barrel beneath her chin. Nat’s actually taught her how to get out of this particular situation, but Miss Lewis’s speciality is not physical action. It’s talking.

“Rumlow”

“Miss Lewis”

“May I have my glasses?”

He passes them to her, allows her to sit up, the gun never wavering. “How did you escape arrest?”

Darcy allows herself a little laugh, is careful not to let an edge of hysteria bleed through. “Contingency plans. Who would bother arresting a lowly secretary? Interview, maybe. Intimidate. But nobody tells me anything, I was just doing my job!” Her last words are higher, faster, pleading.

“You hacked your personnel file... before the upload?” His had been standard, unremarkable. It was eyewitness testimonies that had done him in. Miss Lewis’s attachment to Pierce should’ve garnered a lot more suspicion.

She smirks. “Like I said, contingency plans.”

“How did you get here?”

“Did some temping for a while. Decided Washington would be the most effective place to be and applied for a few jobs. Got this one.”

“And out meeting was coincidence?” He sounds highly sceptical.

In a less refined woman, the sound she makes would be called a snort. “Of course not. But Congressman Holtz has been looking for ways to revitalise his campaign.” All true, but she omits that the focus on prisons came about before she joined his staff. It was one of the reasons she picked him, along with his habit of changing secretaries every few weeks, bringing them in from his various business ventures. His staff are very impressed that Miss Lewis has lasted this long, and will not be surprised when she leaves.

She doesn’t really _need_ Brock Rumlow. As Pierce’s secretary, she was privy to the protocols for coming in from the cold. SHIELD already knew where HYDRA were located; theoretically, she could just walk back in. The problem was, she has played the perfect SHIELD agent too well. No-one had contacted her since she surfaced. If she just appeared on their doorstep after all these months, they might look a little too closely at where she had been, especially after those two other SHIELD agents.

She needed a high ranking officer to bring her in and vouch for her loyalty to HYDRA, one who had worked with her personally. Unfortunately, all of them were either dead or imprisoned. That was where Rumlow came in. He was the only member of the STRIKE team still living, and he was being kept in laughably low security. Best case scenario had them locking him up in maximum security and throwing away the key, but for one political reason or another, they were dragging their feet. His escape was simply a matter of time: she might as well get some use out of it.

“Why didn’t you go back?” he demands. “Your skills would have been welcomed.”

She sniffs. “My contingency plan may have backfired upon me, in this respect. They are understandably wary of “loyal SHIELD agents”.” Her tone makes the air quotes quite clear. “Who actually knew of my true loyalties?”

He grunts in understanding, which is good, because this double think is giving her a headache. With the sudden removal and reholstering of his gun, she gives an internal sigh of relief. “What are your plans, now that you are no longer enjoying the hospitality of the state?”

“Find HYDRA, put a team together, make some trouble for the Avengers. I could use someone who can handle the paperwork.”

She lifts a single eyebrow. “My talents go far beyond paperwork, Brock.”

“I’ve no doubt they do, sweetheart,” he leers.

She cuffs him on the back of the head as she manoeuvres herself out of bed, already pulling her hair into its bun. “Enough of that then. We have work to do.”

“You haven’t changed a bit, have you?”

She gives him a wintery smile. “Oh, you have no idea.”


	7. Kingdom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy and Rumlow rejoin HYDRA

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading and commenting! I love you.
> 
> This chapter is based on Kingdom by Elen Levon.  
>  _I left the sun in my rear view and in the darkness I found truth_

In less than a week, Darcy has ended her lease and handed in her resignation letter. The Congressman's staff were understandably sad to see her go, but they didn’t seem terribly surprised.

The drive to Salt Lake City is like some strange parody of the one she took with Bucky when fleeing the fall of SHIELD. Newly-unemployed, leaving the East Coast for who knows how long, with a killer in the driver’s seat.

Comparing Bucky to Rumlow is not something she wants to be doing right now. While both are undeniably attractive, Rumlow’s all rough flirtation and a large dose of arrogance; beneath Bucky’s battle scars, he’s sweet, and protective, and she’s missing him terribly.

From the outside, nevertheless, she’s a prim and proper secretary travelling cross-country with her fiancé while between jobs.

(Rumlow certainly wasn’t planning on being her chauffeur, but Miss Lewis can be _so_ very persuasive. She doesn’t remember him being this easy to manipulate, but either prison made him soft or she’s gotten better, and she’s betting on the latter. Living with Nat can do that to a girl.)

* * *

It’s midmorning when they pull up outside a bank on the outskirts of the central city. Rumlow pays for parking as she checks her appearance in the passenger side mirror. It wouldn’t do to draw attention to themselves, now, would it?

Together, they enter the bank. Business is brisk; having controlling interests in various financial institutions has proved a steady income for HYDRA over the years and Tony deliberately let a few slip his net for times just like this one.

The teller they approach nearly snaps to attention when he sees Rumlow, and quickly accedes to their request to see the manager.

“It’s good to see you, sir,” he says, as soon as the door closes behind them.  “Who’s this?”

“This is Miss Lewis,” Rumlow replies. “One of our high-level administrators and The most efficient woman I have ever met.”

The manager, a slim, narrow-eyed woman, turns to Darcy. “You bring order to chaos?”

“Don’t we all?” replies Darcy coolly, with a thin smile. “But yes, I do.”

The manager breathes a sigh of relief. “Good. Ever since Whitehall’s death, order has been… shall we say, sadly lacking? Our international branches have been making noise about sending in outside supervision, or shutting us down completely.”

“I can fix that.” Mentally, Darcy files this tidbit to give to Nat. It’s going to be harder to feed information, but they have a few plans in place.

“We’ll have to do some background checks though.”

Darcy inclines her head. “You should be aware my personnel file is less than accurate. It was necessary to avoid SHIELD.”

“You should also know that Miss Lewis worked closely with our team on multiple occasions, and was handpicked to be assistant to Secretary Pierce himself.”

The suspicion on the woman’s face is overwritten by fear at Rumlow’s words. “I understand.”

* * *

Before long, Miss Lewis is installed at the nearest major base, just over in Colorado. Her investigation into her files reveals the American division is so reduced that they barely scratched the surface of her manufactured history. The plundering of their accounts certainly didn’t help their situation.

As she settles in, she understands why they were so keen to have her there. They had subverted so few administrators inside SHIELD and instead focussed on the paramilitary arm and the scientists. Any administrators loyal to HYDRA were so high up, they were detained for questioning indefinitely.

The majority of the HYDRA agents are scientists, unused to the sheer logistics of supplying their laboratories, let alone keeping everyone fed and the electricity running. Their makeshift systems are falling apart and it’s difficult to get even legitimate scientific supplies when invoices aren’t paid on time. She takes the better part of a day to sort through the finances.

It does not escape her that once again, she’s herding scientists, but this time with a very different goal in mind. She knows exactly how to improve efficiency while stifling creativity, and how to direct their research into less lethal lines. Regular rest periods to break up trains of thought, strict laboratory boundaries to prevent the swapping of ideas. Soon, the scientists are the happiest they’ve been in months- and the least productive.

She has an untraceable SIM on her phone, ready to self-destruct should she forget her security code. Every few evenings, she allows herself to phone home. It's not safe to call directly, but she leaves coded messages- how she's got some of them working on a cure for Ebola under the guise of weaponising it, how they're underneath a soap and perfume factory so everything smells like roses.

How there seem to be two factions of SHIELD fighting each other, and one side has people with powers.

She's doing good work, useful work, exactly how she wanted. But as she reports to an automated voicemail the details of the latest HYDRA operation, she can't quite shake the feeling that something's missing.


	8. Lonely

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky's still at the Tower

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've found it really difficult to get some good writing time in, despite having pretty much the rest of the story mapped out, so I'm just going to do the rest in itty-bitty chunks semi regularly, rather than making you wait a month between slightly larger chapters.
> 
> This itty bitty chunk is based on Lonely by Akon, from the album Trouble.  
>  _I woke up in the middle of the night and I noticed my girl wasn't by my side_

Missing Darcy feels like a missing limb. Worse, really, because he’s had some 70-odd years to get used to his arm and he’s even got a replacement. But Darcy? Nothing could ever replace her.

He misses the little touches that anchor him to the now, the sideways glances when someone else does something stupid. He misses the snarky comments that she's never _ever_ aimed at him. He even misses the more and more inventive ways she curses Nat every time the redhead upped her training. He might speak 7 or 8 languages fluently, but Darcy can swear in three times that many.

He gets updates from Nat, little soundbites that brighten his day, and composes hundreds of responses that he will never send. Instead, he writes them down and then burns them, leaving nothing but ash and the smell of smoke.

The nightmares are worse without her. They happen with the same frequency, but it’s harder to pull himself out. Dr Garner’s offered him sleeping aids, but after the cryofreezing, the idea of forcing himself to sleep makes his skin crawl. Instead, he spends hours in the gym, tiring himself out enough to get a chunk of uninterrupted sleep. He tries to spar only with Steve, or on particularly bad nights, the training bots. It's a good thing they're self-repairing; he's left them in pieces more than a few times.

It’s not all bad. He might be wary, even suspicious of strangers, but he no longer reaches for a knife when he doesn’t recognise a footstep. He wanders around the Tower with only two knives and one gun, which for him is pretty much unarmed. Natasha carries two guns, a garrotte, and her Widow's Bites.

Tony’s natural curiosity finally overpowered his distrust a few days ago, and Bucky’s been down to his labs several times since then to get his arm checked out. Some of the assistants have gawked, and he’s heard his name in hushed whispers, but they never do more than stare. Most won't meet his eyes, but one girl gazes through lowered eyelashes. He's not really sure how to deal with that; she's never done more than make eyes at him, and it seems petty to banish her from her workplace for looking.

The memories come in fits and starts, like waves on a shoreline but the tide is always coming in. Steve’s spent hours talking with him, about Brooklyn, the Commandoes, how almost everything has changed. He gets to know New York again through photos and Steve's sketches. Someday he’ll go out himself and see how Mr Cotter’s barber shop is still there, how their old school is now a trendy block of apartments.

Someday he’ll visit his baby sister’s grave.

He's looked up Becky's family, has considered making contact. She named one of her sons James and there's a daughter who looks just like his Ma. It makes his heart hurt to think about how Becky must have aged. 

Somewhere along the way, his faith, never strong, took a serious battering. He’s not sure how the loving God Father Michael used to talk about fits into the life he now leads. That doesn’t stop him from praying for Darcy’s safe return every evening before bed. Anything to bring his girl home safe. 


	9. Almost There

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rumlow's seeing a pattern

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Itsy-bitsy update based on Almost There from the Princess and the Frog  
>  _but I know exactly where I'm going, getting closer and closer every day_

Brock Rumlow slams his tac jacket onto the table in frustration. _Another_ op busted, their objective snatched from right under their noses. The FBI this time, and last time it was the CIA, and before that it was the NSA. All of them, failed ops, with no warning. Months of planning, all wasted. He’s lucky to have lost only two men in the last month. There can only be one explanation.

He turns to Benson, his new second-in-command. “We’ve got a leak.”

Benson shakes his head. “We did a full audit after those two SHIELD agents. We found a guy who was reporting to one of the Emirati, but no-one could’ve slipped our net.”

“Then they came in afterwards.”

“It can’t be. All the recent recruits were thoroughly vetted, and none of them are in a position to know even half of what we do.”

“Then what the hell is happening to us?” For a moment, he despairs. The world needs order so desperately, yet they refuse the solution that HYDRA offers. So many lives and resources wasted on war and conflict. How wonderful the world could be with just a little order! With Secretary Pierce dead and the Senator discredited, the way ahead seems so unclear. He can see the new world order ahead, a shining beacon of hope, but these setbacks place it further and further away. Maybe if he just keeps going, just keeps fighting, a new strategy will present itself. The world can yet be saved.

At least Miss Lewis has the Science division well in hand. They have yet to develop any fantastic new weapons, but the healing patch prototype saved one of his men today.

He’s cleaning his rifle when Ankana bursts in. She had been on the shortlist for the STRIKE team, but there had been no openings at the time, and so avoided the scrutiny that had fallen on them after Project Insight.

“Sir!”

She is breathing heavily, but knows better than to burst out into a garbled report. When she has her breath back, he nods at her to continue and she says “We’ve got a lead on the asset!”


	10. Paparazzi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky's no longer a secret, which is a problem

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoa, big chapter! Couldn't find a good place to split it though, so I guess you get it all at once.
> 
> This chapter is pretty obviously based on Paparazzi by Lady Gaga, from the album The Fame.  
>  _baby you'll be famous, chase you down until you love me_

He’s sparring with Steve when JARVIS chimes. He’s never interrupted training before, but Bucky’s not particularly worried until JARVIS speaks.

“Sergeant Barnes, Agent Romanoff needs to speak with you. It appears to be a matter of some urgency.”

Immediately, his mind jumps to Darcy. “Tell her I’m on my way,” he orders, already halfway to the elevator, Steve just a few steps behind him.

Natasha’s waiting for them in the common room, glaring at something on the table in front of her. As they enter, looks up. “Darcy’s fine, so you can stop panicking.”

Bucky breathes a sigh of relief but Natasha keeps talking. “It turns out one or more of Tony’s employees take their NDAs less than seriously.” She holds up the item in front of her. It’s a trashy tabloid newspaper, and the front cover is Bucky’s face and the caption “BUCK FROM THE DEAD?”

He grabs it from her hands; it’s undoubtedly a recent photo.

“There’s more inside,” she tells them, but he’s already flipping the pages. There’s photos of him and Steve, but luckily none of Darcy, and a wildly speculative article he skims over.

Beside him, Steve is practically vibrating with anger. “Who did this?”

Natasha sighs and rubs her temples. “We’re not sure and the tabloid’s not talking. Tony’s looking into it. He feels it’s a matter of personal pride.”

Bucky muses on the irony of the man who once wanted him arrested now defending him as Natasha continues.

“Regardless of who did it, we have bigger problems. First, HYDRA know where you are now. Darcy said she’s discouraged trying to replicate their brainwashing device, but this may give some of them incentive to try again. Second, and worse, your arm is clearly visible. It’s not long before the international intelligence community put the pieces together and start baying for your blood. You’ll be fine if you stay in the Tower, unless they get the public riled up. Then, all bets are off and they may come in with a warrant. If you have to go on the run, you’re easy prey for HYDRA.”

“So what do we do?” he asks.

Natasha gestures to the elevator. “52nd floor, big office on your left. She’s already been briefed.”

* * *

Steve and Bucky have never been to the 52nd before, but it just seems to be offices. They are obviously expected: a wide-eyed assistant wordlessly shows them into the office Natasha suggested. Bucky watches him carefully but he doesn’t seem to be taking photos. Besides, he’s never seen this particular assistant before.

In the office, an olive-skinned woman steps out from behind a desk. She’s wearing a neatly tailored suit and heads straight to Bucky, offering her hand for him to shake.

“It’s nice to meet you Sergeant Barnes, circumstances notwithstanding. My name is Jessica Reynard; I’m Tony’s PR liason.”

Steve cocks his head. He’s talked with Tony’s marketing guy a few times, discussed licensing issues. _“I thought that was Maxwell.”_

Jessica smiles. _“He handles the small fry. They call me when they need the big guns.”_

Steve feels his jaw drop, but Bucky is already answering. “How often do they need those?”

She laughs, a rich, warm sound. “This is Tony Stark we’re talking about. I’m glad his tabloid days are over, but if it’s not corporate espionage, it’s major property damage.”

Remembering the wreckage of New York, Steve winces.

Jessica gestures for them to sit down, has her assistant offer them a drink. Steve is fascinated as she outlines the probable spread of the news, possible headlines, and the expected public reactions to each. She’s confident, straight to the point. “Our next move now depends on what you want to do.”

“Can we make it all go away?” Bucky asks, but she’s already shaking her head.

“Not going to happen, I’m afraid. You’re a decorated war hero, best friends with Captain America,” for a second her voice hitches and her eyes flick to Steve, but she continues, “and a wanted criminal in most of Europe and Asia. The public aren’t going to forget you in a hurry; the ball’s already rolling. We just have to work out how to spin it.”

After some more discussion, they decide on a press conference. They’ll let Bucky tell his own story. Jessica takes notes, updates the other Avengers. “It’d be good to have them show up in solidarity, but we don’t want them stealing the show. The more we can focus on what Bucky wants to say, the less chance there is for misunderstandings. I’ll talk to Pepper, see what she can arrange for the location. We don’t really want a horde of strangers descending on the Tower.”

At the obvious dismissal, Bucky stands, and so Steve does too, feeling an odd sense of disappointment. Jessica gets up to show them out, smiling politely. As Steve follows Bucky out the door, she holds out a hand to stop him, somewhat shyly, and asks “Would you like to go out for coffee sometime? I know it’s not the best time…”

He smiles. “I’d love to.”

* * *

Tony, or more likely Pepper, pulls some strings and organises some fancy ranch for the press conference; it’s one of the ones the President has spoken from, now and then. Thor is still unavailable, but Tony and Sam are happy to make an appearance, and of course Steve stands by his oldest friend. Natasha and Clint are also there, though only to provide extra security from the shadows. Natasha seems convinced her obvious presence would do more harm than good.

The room is packed with reporters, and Steve is abruptly reminded of the shows that kickstarted his career as Captain America. Off on the side, Jessica catches his eye. _You can do this_ she mouths, and he stands to his feet.

“Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for coming. Obviously you all have many questions, and you will get an opportunity to ask them later. For now, my friend Bucky has a short statement he wants to make. Bucky?”

Bucky stands, shoots Steve a half-smile. It’s not that he begrudges his friend his soulmate; he’s just so damn jealous. He hates this: the attention would’ve grated on the sniper he was, the assassin he feels some days, and on the man who he wants to be.  All he wants is Darcy, to be around her, see her smile, hear her laugh. Instead, he’s out here.

“My name is James Buchanan Barnes. I was born in Brooklyn in 1917…”

The press listen avidly as he recounts his childhood with Steve and his time with Howling Commandos.  He’s halting, nervous enough to stumble over his words, but they don’t seem to care. There are a few gasps when he reveals he didn’t die when falling from the train, though that should hardly come as a surprise.  He explains the last 70 years as a prisoner of war, mind wiped and cryogenically frozen. He ends in the present, meeting Steve and slowly remembering who he was while recovering at the Tower. It hurts to leave Darcy out if it, the catalyst for his revival, but even a hint of that would raise far too many questions for her.

When he finally sits down, Sam claps an approving hand on his shoulder and he lets out a breath. For a moment, all is silent and he sees a few wipe away tears. Then the questions start, a barrage of sound focussed on him that has him tensing, ready to bolt.

“QUIET!” Steve yells. “One at a time.” He points to someone at random. “You, ma’am?”

“Sergeant Barnes, what will you do now?”

“I don’t know,” he answers honestly. Long term thinking has never really on his agenda.

 “Will you be joining the Avengers full-time?” another reporter asks.

“Of course!” Steve jumps in. “We fought HYDRA then, and we’ll do it again until America, and the world, is safe.”

Bucky concentrates on keeping his face carefully blank. It’s just like Steve to think the best of people, but really, he didn’t sign up to serve the people or to protect America. Unlike Steve, he was drafted. He fought with the Commandos to keep Steve out of trouble, only now, it looks like Steve can take care of himself. It’s a different person he worries about these days.

“Sergeant Barnes, there are tales of a Soviet assassin with a metal arm. Could you comment on those?”

Bucky finds the arm in question curling into a fist. He had really been hoping that no one would pick up on that. Luckily, the others were not nearly so optimistic and they prepared him a statement. “During my time as a prisoner of HYDRA, I was forced to many things I did not want to and that I would not choose to do when my actions are my own. I cannot recall many of those incidents but I am equally sure that I do not want to.”

He is very careful not to look at Tony.

“Bucky, is it true that you and Captain America are soulmates and he crashed the plane deliberately after your apparent death in a fit of despair?”

Bucky feels his eyebrows shoot up to his hairline as Steve chokes beside him. Why did they let a tabloid reporter into this thing anyway? One glance at Jessica’s face and he realises he’s been set up. After a moment, he decides to answer the reporter anyway. “No, we’re not soulmates. But Steve did meet his soulmate recently, and I’m very happy for them both.”

Jessica’s giving him a death glare from her place in the audience as the audience explode into an excited frenzy. He sits back, satisfied the tabloids will forget about him now.

* * *

His face is on every news stand. The tabloids love him. The conspiracy theorists love him. It seems everyone loves him, except perhaps Steve, who is feeling a bit betrayed. Jessica applauded his misdirection tactics and then slapped him for dumping them in it.

Fanmail is pouring in for the tortured hero, the tragically abandoned soldier, the faithful friend who finally returned home. Tony and Clint devised a drinking game: one shot for propositions, two for marriage proposals. Pepper confiscated the liquor before they got halfway through the morning delivery.

Reddit is bursting at the seams with theories: clone, grandson, actor, android, hologram. One guy posits he was transformed alongside Steve and kept on ice by _America_ , and is gaining a following. No one really believes the truth, which is all right with him.

His reveal of Steve’s love life has sparked an in-depth review of ALL the Avengers. It’s common knowledge that Tony and Pepper are soulmates, and Thor has made no secret of his Lady Jane, but all of the others are now fair game. Natasha is paired with every other Avenger, up to and including Bruce, which amuses Betty to no end. Clint apparently has a ‘secret wife and kids’, who actually turn out to be his brother’s family, hiding out in Iowa. Speculation on Steve's soulmate still takes centre page, though.

Bucky finds every inch of his personal life reportedly aired out to the public. Sightings abound, though he never leaves the Tower, and women he’s never met are pouring out of the woodwork to share their ‘secret night of passion’.

The wave of attention would annoy him more if it hadn’t drowned the rumours of the Winter Soldier. He’s content to keep his head down and let the storm pass him by until one particular photo catches his eye. That lab assistant never got one of him and Darcy, but this photo is different. It’s from the day they arrived at the Tower and Natasha met them in the lobby.

Obviously heavily zoomed in from another photo, Natasha is out of frame, but Darcy is not. Their faces are indistinct and pixellated, but it’s enough for headline to ask about “BUCKY’S MYSTERY BRUNETTE?” Most comments dismiss it as Natasha in disguise, or not actually him, but it’s only a matter of time before HYDRA see it.

She’s right in their midst, would have no warning. Her line to Natasha only works one way.

He checks the time stamp: the photo was only posted a few hours ago to a tiny corner of the internet. HYDRA’s systems are no match for JARVIS, but he can’t risk some technician spotting it. The rest of the Avengers are in Africa, tracking down some vibranium, and won’t be back for a few days, at least.

He needs to be with her far sooner than that, and there’s one fool-proof way to get to her.

Bucky Barnes throws on a cap and goes for a walk.

* * *

He’s standing outside his old place in Brooklyn, well, where his old place in Brooklyn used to be, when he sense them pull up beside him. He’s prepared for tasers, tranquilisers, brute force. He’s not prepared for a blunt command in Russian than has him snapping to attention, cold filling his veins and freezing him in place. Without thinking about it, at another command he finds himself climbing into the van.

“Why do I have to do this?” asks the man who cuffs his hands behind his back.

“Because Commander Rumlow says he’s only trained to obey orders from men,” snaps the woman in the front seat. “Jerks.”

She sounds angry, frustrated, but Bucky cannot even turn his head to look at her directly. He watches her in his peripheral vision as she makes a call on one of those impossible small phones.

“Sir, we’ve acquired the asset.” A pause. “Yes, the command words worked exactly as expected. We’re on our way back to the base. Should we inform Miss Lewis?”

At the sound of her name, the icy bonds around his mind melt away as if they never existed. It’s all he can do to not attack the man next to him. What would be the point, anyway? They’re taking him exactly where he wants to go.


	11. I’m Coming After You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rumlow and Darcy go head to head. Luckily, they're not the only ones in the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, uh, university is busy. There's probably going to be one more chapter after this, but it's going to be a while in the making. Love y'all, thanks for reading and commenting and everything :)
> 
> This chapter is based on the song I'm Coming After You by Owl City, from the album the Midsummer Station.  
>  _one of these days I'll end up tracking you down_

He stares at the photo in disbelief. Checks it. Checks it again.

Certain pieces begin to fall into place, and a snarl rises to his lips.

They’ve been betrayed, and it’s time to cut the poison off at the root. Luckily, a tool perfect for the cutting has just arrived and the conditioning seems to be holding perfectly. He’ll have to give Ankana a raise, once he controls the finances.

* * *

Darcy is reviewing their inventory of explosives when Brock Rumlow stalks in, followed by an eerily robotic Bucky.

“What the-“ she cuts herself off. Such surprise is hardly becoming of Miss Lewis, but it’s getting harder and harder to keep that façade up. “What are you doing here? You’re supposed to be out east still.”

While her words are ostensibly aimed at Rumlow, Bucky knows she’s talking to him as well. He doesn’t answer; Rumlow does.

“I realised why you didn’t want us to pursue the asset, even though we have the resources to rebuild the chair. You didn’t want to have someone around who you can’t control, the way you control the rest of us.”

Darcy puts her tablet down slowly, raises a single eyebrow. (It took her months of practicing in the mirror to perfect it, and she can only do one side). “What are you talking about?”

“It must’ve killed you to find they only trained it to answer to male superiors.”

_It._

Darcy holds back a snarl. Yes, that particular report had been difficult to read, but for different reasons than Rumlow suspects. Neither she nor Bucky had wanted her to jump into the murky morass of his past with HYDRA.

And now he was right back in the middle of it, dammit. What the hell was he thinking? Was he even thinking at all? She certainly can't fight Rumlow on her own, and hurting Bucky is never an option. Not for her. Not even if he's somehow been brainwashed again.

That particular worry is assuaged when one eyebrow drops, oh-so-slowly, into a wink. Anxiety morphs to anger which she quickly tamps under control. “The asset is a singularly inefficient tool. I judged it so a year ago, and have seen no reason to change my mind about the matter. Is there a point to all this?”

In response, Rumlow tosses a photo on the table. She leans forward to take a closer look. It looks to be one of Stark’s charity galas. Nat had dragged her to a few of them after she and Jane moved to New York.

“Forgot to mention you met the Black Widow, did you?”

 _Crap._ In the photo, just to the side, brunette and redhead are tossed back in laughter. Vaguely, she remembers making cracks about Tony in man-heels.

“I can explain,” she says, but he’s got a pistol pointing at her and is shaking his head.

“You always can,” he says. “One pretty explanation after another, playing ignorant when it suits you. I always wondered how you managed to escape so neatly after the Triskelion fell. Cut a deal with the devil, did you?”

She’s busy gauging how best to dodge the inevitable bullet when he clicks the safety back on and holsters the pistol. “A bullet is too fast for you. You need to remember the true order that comes through pain.”

Darcy pushes away her chair and stands up, warily watching the man making his way around the desk with murder in his eyes. “Hold her,” he orders the weapon at his side, eyes never leaving Darcy’s face. When Bucky doesn’t move, he snarls, “I gave you an order!”

He doesn’t see the fist coming until he’s staggering back holding his throat. “I only take orders from one person now,” Bucky tells him.

Darcy steps forward to stand by her soulmate, looks down on a wide-eyed Brock Rumlow as he struggles for breath. “Did you crush his windpipe?”

A metal arm wraps around her and she leans into his embrace. “I didn’t think you’d appreciate me getting blood over your office.”

“Aww, you’re so thoughtful,” Darcy smirks up at him. Sobering quickly, she looks at the man dying on her floor, lips bubbling with blood. For all her spying, she’s never been so directly responsible for someone’s death before. It doesn’t help that she _knows_ that Rumlow has a list of victims longer than Bucky’s: she’s worked with him, driven cross-country with him, even cracked a few dry jokes at SHIELD’s expense together.

She thinks about making a parting shot, some mocking one-liner or profound truth, but nothing comes to mind. Instead, she stands with her soulmate in silence as Brock Rumlow breathes his last and his hate-filled glare dims to a dull, blank stare.

* * *

As part of her efficiency programme, Darcy has instituted an organic waste recycling plant. It’s here that she leads Bucky, Rumlow’s body over one shoulder. She’s fetched a tarp from one of the storerooms and knows the patrol schedule by heart, but every little noise has her fighting the impulse to freeze guiltily.

The HYDRA workers on the base are well-trained, however, and they reach the recycling room without incident. There, Rumlow is dumped into one of the vats. Darcy has no idea how it works, but one of her scientists assured her it would break down any organic material into nutrient-rich jelly within two days. She was quietly considering the composting potential, but given the scientist in question actually designed the solution to get rid of bodies, she’s confident in its application. According to reports, it's worked well on roadkill and some stolen livestock so far. Rumlow should be contributing to their stash of petri dishes within a few weeks.

Back in her office, tarp neatly folded and stowed, she gives a sigh of relief and leans into Bucky’s embrace. She knows she should be furious he’s risking himself like this, and they are going to _talk_ later, but right now, small selfish Darcy is too happy to care.


	12. Unwritten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their happy ending is a beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we are, at the end of the story that started with _At the Beginning_. So much love to everyone who has read and commented and kudos'd. I hope you enjoy this chapter; it is based on the song Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield.  
>  _live your life with arms wide open, today is where your book begins_

“What now?”

“Well, I guess that’s up to you.”

He’s already shaking his head. “No doll, that’s up to us.”

She purses her lips. “Yeah, I guess it is. But first, what the _hell_ were you thinking?”

He shrugs. "You were in danger. This was the fastest way to get to you."

"So, what, you let them capture you? What if they'd had some way to brainwipe you again?"

"They tried to reawaken some old programming, but it didn't take as well as they thought it did," he replies lightly. He doesn't tell her how close it came to working.

"We'll have to work out some plausible way for you to escape now."

"We could just vanish. With Rumlow dead, and you gone, HYDRA truly would be headless. The Avengers took out Struker two weeks ago, this is the last remaining large base we know of."

She shakes her head. "I can't leave."

"What? Why?"

Darcy pauses, struggles to find the words. "The people here, they all believe they're doing the right thing. Well, most of them. There are a few who are in this for the murder and mayhem, but I've slowly been weeding them out. But the others - Campbell's son was killed in a school shooting. He was 8. Ramirez's husband was shot by a cop who was never even charged with a crime. The cop's still out there, patrolling the streets. Baker's paralysed from when some joyrider plowed into him but got off with a fine. They all want to make the world better, and this is how they're doing it."

"Aw, hell. You've gotten attached."

"No! Well, yeah. They're my scientists now. But also, these are some seriously smart people. If I'm not giving them direction, who knows what they could come up with?"

"I suppose so..."

"All we need to do is get you out of here in a way that doesn't lead back to me."

He shakes his head. "I'm not leaving you. If you're staying, I'm staying."

"Inside HYDRA?" She replies, sceptically.

"Doll, I would rather be in HYDRA with you than any rich man's penthouse without you."

She rolls her eyes, but a goofy smile is spreading across her face. "Fine. But let me update Nat before Steve tears this place apart looking for you."

 "And we can't have that, can we?" he laughs.

She pouts in response. "I just got this place set up how I want it!"

* * *

Tiffany Ankana stands outside Miss Lewis's office, fighting an uncharacteristic bout of nerves. She's never really spoken to Miss Lewis before: she generally reports to Commander Rumlow or Benson, his second in command. The request for a meeting had come through at breakfast, a standardised affair that has a roster to ensure swift rotation through the small cafeteria.

Miss Lewis's idea, of course. Before she and Commander Rumlow arrived, meal times were a mess, literally. Never enough food or seats available.

Taking a deep breath, she knocks on the door, uncomfortably reminded of visits to the principal's office. The door slides open to reveal Miss Lewis behind a desk. At her back stands the Asset, and Commander Rumlow is nowhere to be seen.

"Ankana, come in."

Warily, Ankana does as instructed and settles in front of the desk in parade rest. She might be here for the woman in front of her, but she can't stop her eyes flicking over to the blank faced man who is now standing beside the desk between them.

"I asked for your presence for two reasons." Miss Lewis says without preamble. "Did Rumlow talk with you last night?"

 _Is he missing?_ Ankana wonders. "No, ma'am. He met us at the loading bay to take charge of the Asset, said he had a task to complete?" Her voice rises on the last syllable, makes it a question.

Miss Lewis takes a breath, steeples her fingers.

"Last night, Brock Rumlow tried to kill me."

Ankana feels her jaw drop, but Miss Lewis is still talking.

"Obviously, he failed. I'm afraid he did not survive that failure."

"But, but why?"

Miss Lewis sighs. "There was a distinct lack of explanation, but he has been rather more unstable since his incarceration. He did not seem to think me being in charge was appropriate, wanted a man in charge. Had he exhibited such biased views before?"

"No, he-" She glances at the Asset. "He did say that the Asset only answered to men."

Miss Lewis smirks. "Wishful thinking on his part, unfortunately. For him, that is. "

"Maybe he made a mistake." Ankana temporises. "I can't believe that the Commander would really-."

Miss Lewis raises an eyebrow. "Tell me, Ankana, why is Benson, a man with little to no field experience, second in command of the combat division? You were set to join the STRIKE team, are more than qualified."

Ankana shrugs. She's been wondering the same thing, has said as much to one of the others on her team.

"You said two reasons, ma'am?"

If Miss Lewis takes offense at her changing the subject, she doesn't show it.

"Ah. Yes, and this is potentially rather more significant. Two weeks ago, the Avengers raided the base in Sokhovia, arresting Baron von Struker and his cadre of scientists."

"Cut off one head..." Ankana murmurs, but Miss Lewis is shaking her head.

"It seems the Avengers have been cauterizing the stumps. We are the only HYDRA research facility left in the world. Our military forces have been scattered and too many have abandoned us to sell their skills. Right now, we're on our own."

"What do we do?"

Miss Lewis smiles. "I do have a few thoughts on that."

She outlines a strategy so brilliant in its simplicity, Ankana can only stare and nod. It doesn't matter that they're about the same age; when she grows up, she wants to be Miss Lewis.

* * *

There is a station-wide meeting at 1500 hours a week later. All scientists are required to attend; they already know that protocol has a blackout in the labs during this time. Cameron desperately tries to check her experiment just one more time; she is gently escorted to the meeting by security.

When the last scientist files in, Miss Lewis steps up to a podium, the Asset a menacing shadow at her back.

“Ladies and gentlemen, we have a problem,” she announces. Around the room, spines stiffen. The last time they had a problem, there was a mole and they had to relocate. Tension ratchets even higher as Miss Lewis explains that they are the last HYDRA research facility standing. They knew not to expect help from the overseas branches, but the knowledge of their existence had been a reassurance, no matter how distant. The sudden removal of this layer of security leaves several faces blank with shock.

“So what do we do?” demands Campbell. “We can’t just give up!”

Murmured assent from around the room. The Asset shifts, ever so slightly, and the murmurs die down, allowing Miss Lewis to continue speaking.

“We are not giving up. We cannot give up. The world needs us now, more than ever, even if they cannot see it. The world needs order, and we are still the ones to bring it. But the strategy of intimidation and destabilisation through secret agencies has proven unsound. Governments no longer run the world; corporations do.

“The paperwork is in place. Depending on your specialty, you have been assigned to one of three new companies: biochemical, engineering, and software. Your new assignments have already been loaded to your workstations. For security, the labs will be in different cities and there will be no connection to each other. Communication between sectors is strongly discouraged.

“We will build a better world under their very noses.”

She pauses and lets her words sink in. The faces in front of her are thoughtful, considering. Some are excited. Benson and some of the security team look mutinous, and she makes a mental note to deal with them after.

She and Bucky have been working around the clock to set this all up in time. They’ve drafted organisational charts and hierarchies, filled company documents for Tony to insert into the relevant government systems, compiled lists of projects that the world actually needs done that for one reason or another are not being addressed. (The list is depressingly long.) They have logos and mission statements and premises ready for occupation.

She’s exhausted, but if they pull this off, she might just get the chance to rest.

The next few weeks are a blur of preparations. Benson started making noise about HYDRA straying from their mission, but the majority of the scientists are just relieved to be joining the outside world again. When Benson and his band of dissidents go their own way, there is a general shrug. No one notices the increased output from one of the recycling plants- or if they do, they don’t say anything. This is HYDRA, after all. What has to be done is done.

Despite the reduced manpower, the move goes much more smoothly than the one before, even without (or perhaps due to) the general panic at that time. In less than a month, the base is empty. Ankana has split her security team into three and has elected to go with the software company, who are the least likely to blow her up or start a plague. She would feel much safer if Miss Lewis was overseeing the new companies in person, but their supervisor? leader? administrator? is moving to an undisclosed location to monitor them remotely.

* * *

He sells homes for a living. His latest sale is the penthouse apartment in a highrise in Brooklyn, just across the river from Manhattan, with a stunning view of Avengers Tower. The security is top-notch, and very discreet. He has no idea how the young newlywed couple can afford such a place, but with his generous commission, he doesn’t care.

* * *

Darcy settles into Bucky’s side with a sigh of contentment. The system in the smallest spare room has just come online, and she can monitor her scientists through multiple screens rather than just her tablet. Tony’s routed video feeds and workstation clones to her through the internet until even JARVIS can’t track them. He wasn’t happy about it, but Pepper made him do it as punishment for trying to make another AI without supervision. Darcy’s residual “over-caffeinated scientist alert” had gone off just in time.

She’s sent daily reports from all three companies and gives out new assignments as necessary. One company think they’ve nearly cracked malaria and are halfway to cloning a Tasmanian tiger. Another are still working on hovercraft but their new off-the-grid phones are working perfectly. The last are merrily playing havoc with the presidential primaries and got her enough to blackmail a Supreme Court judge and five members of Congress. Sure, it’s not all legal, but they’re making a difference.

Bucky shakes her gently. “You still thinking about work?”

She wrinkles her nose at him. The media have finally stopped speculating about his love life and are now talking up a feud between Steve and Tony after they were caught arguing in public. Sure, it was only over what exactly constitutes an appropriate baby gift for Sam and Sharon’s kid, but such trivial things as facts don’t figure into reports like these.

(For the record, Sharon vetoed the motorbike and the robot, but the kid loves the mobile that Bruce and Betty put together.)

“Yeah, Cameron just- “ He shushes her with a finger over her lips.

“Doll, we got this entire apartment, a sunset, and a bottle of wine. What say we put it to good use?”

Darcy lets him pull her up. “I can’t believe this is our life right now. Five years ago, I was a student. Then New Mexico, then I was undercover in SHIELD, and then I met you…”

“Then the Poconos,” he continues for her, “Then the Tower, then back in HYDRA. And now we’re here.”

Darcy giggles. “Who knows where we’ll be next year?”

He brings her hand to his lips. “I don’t know. But whatever it is, wherever it is, we can face it. Together.”

She twines her free hand in his hair, bringing him close, until their foreheads touch and their breath mingles. “Together.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _We were strangers_  
>  _On a crazy adventure_  
>  _Never dreaming that dreams would come true_  
>  _Now here we stand unafraid of the future_  
>  _At the beginning with you_  
>  <3


End file.
